Superhuman by Tammy Le Vasan

A beautiful friend of mine, Tammy, so kindly wrote a guest blog for my website that I just love and so recommend to read and reflect upon!

Tammy, thank you so much for this reminder!!!

Everyone said that having a baby would be life-changing. What they didn’t say is how it alters your own perception of self. I am 5 months postpartum and am only just coming back to feeling like myself in the last month or so. I know that I still have a way to go to fully feeling like ‘me’ again, but the question is: Will I ever feel wholly like myself now that I have gone through a fundamental change? Should I even be trying to? Or should I be aiming for something different?

While these questions floated about in the sleep deprived ether of my brain, I was also keenly aware of the ‘bouncing back’ narrative that was suddenly everywhere. It was what people were saying to me in the office, it was in the instagram ads on my feed, and it was also self inflicted. I would hungrily look for how many months postpartum other mums were and compare myself to them. This is wrapped up in society’s authorship of the female body, and is just another dichotomy we feel we need to make ourselves fit into: sacred, caring full-time mother, or doing-it-all modern mum. But it’s never that black or white.

So the first thing I want to say here is – this is you. It is normal and you’re doing great. You want to bounce back – I applaud you, get out there and shine. You want to hibernate – I applaud you, settle in for ‘slow mothering’. You can also be anything in the spectrum between those, and you can also be different things on different days. Because in truth, we can’t dictate our experience or control what feelsright. We have a tiny person to listen to, and we should respect them and what they need as well. What we can do is accept our experience and, wherever we can, find beauty in it. And where we can’t, we can find wine, ice cream, coffee, mac’n’cheese, Netflix… whatever it takes.

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Another thing I kept hearing was ‘women are superhuman’, or ‘mothers can do it all’. And while I agree wholeheartedly with this, I do NOT agree with what goes unsaid with this kind of thinking. We are superhuman, so we can function with a handful of fitful hours of sleep, and still take care of the house, clean, cook, work and keep a tiny human alive? Nope.

I mean of course we can, we are pretty great after all. But that doesn’t mean we should. I am more than a Superwoman, more than a Mum. I love a walk around exhibitions, I love all things food related, I love getting stuck into debates over bottle(s) of wine, andI am also lazy, greedy, vain and reckless. Sometimes I just want to be those things, and being a perfect mum doesn’t allow for it. So let’s claim being imperfect, and let’s allow our partners to step up to the plate, because they sometimes want to be superheroes too.

On the subject of partners. Another question knocking about is how do we raise a child in an equal household? Being the caregiver and traditional ‘mum’ character in a house tends to mean you don’t have the time and headspace to be the clown, the spontaneous one and the fun one because you’re the one making sure there are clean clothes, a comfortable house and healthy meals ready (not to mention all the planning and admin that comes with having children). But now and then, I would like to be the one that throws caution to the wind. In addition to this, I would like my son to see a male figure being a homemaker and caregiver, so that he can be the same when he is older. Most importantly, I don’t want my daughter growing up feeling that this is the role that is expected of her gender.

Mum’s need not be one dimensional caricatures that fit into society’s ideals and dictates. Let’s celebrate the differences we all have.

So when I ask the question ‘do I feel like myself?’ the answer is no, not yet, but yes, that iswhat I want. I don’t want to be ‘Mum’. I want to be Tammy – all the things that go with being Tammy, and now a parent as well. And I want the same for my partner, and for my children. We should make space for us to exist just as ourselves, and for all of us to be superheroes (if and when we choose).

Tammy Le Vasan (follow @tammymeaculpa for more mum thoughts)

Unique gift

There is Mother’s Day in the UK today Sunday the 31st but this message is not only for mums!

You are UNIQUE and can achieve anything!

We’re all just normal people but each and every one of us has a unique gift that our world needs. Please share it with the world in the best possible way!

Let’s start with this question – what’s your gift? And then follow up question – how can you allow more people to be blessed by your gift?

If you don’t know answers to these questions, don’t worry you’re not alone but stay open to opportunities that come your way. I always had a blurry idea of me being in a business of helping people but wasn’t sure how and when and through what. Because of that I’ve stayed in employment for 12 years before I figured out what that unique gift is.

I love sport and personal development hence I combined the two passions of mine and become fitness and life coach. It took me long time to work it out but now I know that my gift is to share a message about and inspire people to live healthier, happier and wealthier lives and I’m loving it.

So, if you struggle with realising what your gift actually is then I have a little task for you:

Write down all the things that makes you happy in life and then analyse which one you would like to do and share with others, which one you’re really good at that could transform people lives.

And please don’t think about it as creating a business out of it if you don’t want to have a business. You can of course turn it into a business but you may also have a great job and be passionate about helping local charity organising their fundraising events. Thant could be your gift.

What I want to say and leave you with it, is that you’re Unique and really can achieve anything you want so share it with us as we may just look what you’re offering.

Have a beautiful Mother’s Day guys!

Hugs,
Kasia xxx

mother's day 2019

“I know it” I said and I was so wrong!

I think I said “I know it” like billions of times and 95% of that I didn’t actually know. I thought I know because I hear what the other person was saying or showing but then explaining the same concept or showing the same moves was not as smooth as I thought it will be…

My capoeira teacher, Mestre Papa Leguas, said once that when people say “I know it” when he demonstrates a move or correct them with something, they often don’t actually know it but they said it anyway.

I didn’t understand what my teacher was saying by that until I caught myself thinking that I know so many things so I’ve got involved in so many projects and I felt overwhelmed, tired and without energy…

Yes, the projects were all linked to my lifestyle or my business but most were not making my cuppa filled but rather they were draining me from energy…

I wanted to know so much and do so much but never gave myself actual permission to act, test and experiment with the knowledge I gained. And it felt so weird as I thought I’ve already learnt that skill of effective learning and taking baby steps to manifest what I want… I even wrote blogs about it but then when Grześ has asked me recently what is that I want to do and focus on I was so indecisive as I was distracted by all these projects

I had this realisation at the end of February and it took me a while to analyse what’s going on hence I decided to take step back from most of my projects and:

  • really look at all the projects I was taking part in;
  • decide on what are the projects in my life I want to focus on;
  • write a plan!

AND

  • decided to never say “I know it” if I actually have no clue what this “it” is!

I even change my website to reflect what I am focusing on NOW.

Before I say what that is, I’d like to leave you with what Mr Robert T. Kiyosaki wrote in this book “Rich Dad Poor Dad” (by the way if you haven’t yet read it you should get your hands on it now, it’s incredible read!)

Follow
One
Course
Until
Successful!

My goal for 2019 is to talk to 1000 people and help 100 of them live the life they have always dreamed of. Are you one of 100? Get in touch and book your free discovery call today.

To Your Success!

Have a wonderful day!

Kasia

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Stop being so hard on yourself!

We’re now into February and I wonder how’s your New Year resolutions? Are you on schedule with them, experiencing some delays or maybe quite long time ago?

I’m always trying to get better and I set goals throughout the year but tend to be hard on myself if I’m not reaching a goal in the time I scheduled for it. 

Some time ago I’ve watched a video by Bob Proctor where he said that we don’t know the exact time for our dreams to come true. We can set completion dates but the dream may as well realised earlier or later! He said that we can predict how long it takes for a carrot seed to grow into a vegetable but we can’t predict how long it takes for the spiritual seed to flourish as the source of our dreams is spirit that always looks for ways to express and expand.

If you’re hard for yourself because you’re not doing the actions you meant to but you try doing as best as you can then remember that you only fail when you stop! So do the best you can do and enjoy it!

There is always time and space for everything you want to accomplish so get back to what you planned to do and get the results you always wanted to get. Do something small each day, baby steps are the best!

As Bob Proctor often says, show me what you want and I’ll show you how to get there. I would be honor to support your journey so get in touch at risadalifestyle@gmail.com and let’s design your amazing life!

Have a wonderful day!

Kasia

you only fail when you stop

Challenge – to see world through child’s eyes

Have you ever witness the world from the perspective of your child? See it through your child eyes? We should all learn from our children as the only thing they do is to develop!

How incredible that is!

I love to observe Gabriel and see the incredible development that takes place. He just grow personally and physically on my eyes!

And he has so much fun doing so!

We often take life too serious especially attempting to achieve a goal or when starting a new project. My hubby Grześ is is a good example of that. After our weekend in Frankfurt where we were on a business workshop he decided to dive all into the business of network marketing I’m in and now a week after he has become so overwhelmed with this project that he started to question if that’s the right path to follow.

Luckily I have him and he has me to talk through all this type of situation and get back on track towards our goals.

We also have an incredible example at home! Gabriel is phenomenal at following through with his goals of learning… and you may think yes but the things that babies are developing are simple and easy, I have serious challenges… but let me stop you here and invite you to rethink that…

Babies development within the first few years of his/her life is the most intensive development for a human being! Things like walking, eating or discovering feelings YES are simple for us adults but so challenging for the little ones… yet they achieve them!

Why do we often don’t achieve our goals then?

You have this fitness goal or career change goal and how is this going? If you struggle to achieve it remember that you are the only person that stops or delay you! So take my advice and look up to your child and see how unstappable he or she is!

Life through a child’s eyes is full of opportunities to grow. I challenge you to look at your life through their eyes and go for your dreams!

Let me know one think that you will implement in your life as part of this challenge. I look forward to read it!

Have a wonderful day!

Kasia

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I’m so happy and grateful now that…

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Photo by Carl Attard on Pexels.com

I’m so happy and grateful now that I’m going to meet Bob Proctor in Frankfurt over this weekend!

I’ve been following him for over 12 years and always wanted to have the opportunity to meet and chat with him… and it’s now a reality!!! This weekend I’ll be at business workshop and have a full day with this phenomenal man!

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this is a dream come true! Do you have any dreams that are waiting for you to achieve them? What’s stopping you?

I had many blocks that stopped me fulfilling my dreams but I started to grow personally and life is amazing! And it’s only gets better! I’m a life coach and can show you how you can move forward with your dreams! Get in touch at risadalifestyle@gmail.com

To your success,

Kasia

 

Happy Mum Equals Happy Family!

Happy Mum Equals Happy Family, a group of happy mums equals many happy families! I believe in the power of community and that it takes a village to raise a child.
Being part of mums’ community in my first months as a mum assured me that I’m not alone with my feelings, all of them, the happy and the sad feelings!
I experienced the power of mums’ community first hand and that’s why I run Mummy&Me fitness and group coaching sessions and 1-2-1 PT and life coaching sessions.
If you too want to be part of a community where mums get stronger both physically and mentally then sign up for my classes.
Timetable:
Tuesday 10am-11am Mummy&Me fitness sessions @ NMC, 48 Watson Crescent, EH11 1EP
Tuesday 1pm-2:30pm Mummy&Me fitness and group sessions @ The Space, 183 Dalry Rd, EH11 2EB (New sessions starting the 5th of February)
Thursday 1pm-2pm Mummy&Me fitness sessions @ NMC
Friday 10am -11:30am M&M Fintess and Group CoachingMummy&Me fitness and group sessions @ Out of the Blue, 36 Dalmeny St, EH6 8RG (New sessions starting the 1st of February)

Sign up now via risadalifestyle@gmail.com

More information http://www.risadalifestyle.com, @risadalifestyle or http://www.facebook.com/groups/EdinburghActiveMums/.

What Mums are saying about the classes?

“I would highly recommend Kasia’s postnatal exercise classes to anybody looking for a gentle yet challenging return to exercise after having a baby.”

“Hey! Thank you so much for easing me back into exercise after having Jaxon. Xx”

“The classes have definitely made me fitter and have helped create a good routine. Really relaxed environment but still get a good workout (if Larry lets me!) and really good that the babies come too. Also really focused classes even with all the fun distractions!”

“Kasia’s classes are just lovely! It’s so nice to find a mummy and baby class which focuses on “mummy” and her wellbeing. The classes are relaxed and fun and I always leave feeling better than when I walked in. Kasia is very motivating, smiley and bubbly and her positive energy is so infectious!”

Surround yourself with supportive people!

Who do you surround yourself with determines your results so make your circle of friends/coworkers/workout pals as awesome as you wanted it to be 😁

That’s absolutely true for fitness too, who do you surround yourself with during your workouts, at the gym or even when you plan on starting exercising? Is that person supporting you or quite the opposite?

I surround myself with strong women in life and during my classes. To strengthen my vision of the people I want to be surrounded by I have this on my vision board right in front of me each time I work at my desk! 

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I’ve once heard that we are the combination of the five people we surround ourselves with on a daily basis. Have a look around you, are you happy with what you see? If the answer is yes then amazing, me too!!! 

But if the answer is no then maybe it’s the time to change some aspects of your life (?)

Change is the natural part of life, if we want to grow we need to change! There is way too many people who want the change but don’t want to change! Are you one of them?

Change may be scary but once you decide on what you want, like who you want to surround yourself with for example, then the change is just a move in the right direction! And by having a vision of your new circle of friends that you surround yourself with, you will be changing your life for the better!

I certainly don’t surround myself with the same people I did when I was in full time jobs because as my own boss I choose my audience, my contractors and places I work at and that changed my life beautifully!

I encourage you to look at your circle of people you surround yourself with and see if they are the best fit for you.

Have a wonderful day!

Kasia

 

What is that we really want in life?

What is that we really want in life?

Have you ever asked yourself this question?

What’s that you really, really, really want in life?

I invite you to stop and think especially now just before this year ends. Think about how you want your like to look like in 2019 and beyond.

Think from the place of what you individually want! Not as a parent, or daughter, or son, or wife, or employee BUT You, what is that You want?

Think from the place where time or money are not an issue or challenge.

Think from the place where everything is possible despite the facts and reality of your life.

We tend to focus on what we don’t want in life but please just do yourself a favour and focus on what you WANT instead, the results in your life may just surprise you.

Through talking to people I think that there are only five things that we want in life:

  • good health 
  • time freedom 
  • financial freedom 
  • travel 
  • connection

You may dress it up differently like better shape, time for family, buying this new home, visit all the capitals of the world or work with likeminded individuals, but at the end of the day it came down to the five I’ve mentioned above!

If somebody says “oh I hate my job” usually means they actually want something different which could be more money or time freedom or connection. “Oh hate my boss” may mean that they look for better connection with work colleagues.

Whatever it is, you have all you need to create the life you want BUT you must be clear on the what, before creating the life you want!

Get in touch if you want more information on how to creat the life you have always dreamed about!

Have a wonderful day!

Kasia

Photo by Brigitte Tohm from Pexels